Tuesday, May 25, 2010
So sad lately....
Its been awhile now I just feel so sad ... I don't know what is wrong with me but I can't sleep, I'm always an the edge... I feel I am hurting the people who love me the most... If I am I am so sorry..I know I need to slow down but I have been running so much in life that I don't know how to...I feel I am not living life I'm just there..you know....Don't get me wrong I love to help people out but sometimes it is just too much...Guess I am just tired of being sad and don't know why... I am also tired of people who claim they are your friend, but talk about you behind your back and say they are there for you but really aren't ... I can be there listener to them and help them but when I need to talk they act like they don't won't to listen... I guess deep down you know who are your friends ....Those who have your back and are there for you with a shoulder to lean on .. It just hurts so dam bad ... to help them out and they don't even want to listen....I love my two best friends Kelly and Simon they keep me going... If it wasn't for them I don't think I would be here...Thank you Kelly and Simon for caring about me... You guys are my world and I will love you guys for eternity and beyond..
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3 comments:
You know, it makes me very sad hearing all this. I don't like when people close to me that I love are sad, but what I hate even more are people who claim to be your friends. I know exactly what you mean with being good enough for THEIR problems, but not even worth a dime when WE have anything we'd like to talk about. I think that being in a really bad situation actually shows who your true friends are and that is worth a lot. They always say "Trust nobody but yourself" and I never really thought about that cliche, because not trusting anyone else would mean no friends for you. But when you're in a situation like that and you have to actually question the friendship with some of your "friends" then it makes totally sense. Sometimes you're just the only person you can trust. Sad but true. I always told myself it's better to have just a few great friends than having 50 friends. Quality over quantity! That's at least how I see it. But anyways.. I noticed I rambled quite a lot, so let's go back to your actual problem. It's not that I'm a doctor or anything, and I can't give you a professional diagnosis, but what I can give you is my opinion from a friend's view.
I think you are sad right now because you don't see a purpose in your life. All you do is working your ass off in a company you absolutely don't like, and running around for people who claim to be there for you and say they understand. If I may be right out honest, I HATE how those people treat you. I don't have to name anyone, because we know who we're talking about. Don't get me wrong, I love them dearly, but it's just not right. It's not that you're their only family member. They have other ones, but why always you? I've been thinking lots about that question, but I just can't seem to find an answer. It might have to do with you always doing it, not that that's a bad thing, but because they know that you do it anyway, they don't even ask anymore but demand, know what I mean? And that is absolutely horrible, because they KNOW that you have to calm down, they know it, but they don't care. There... I said it. It's sad that I had to say it, but we know there's some truth about it, which makes it even more sad. I hate to say it, but I don't think anything will change until we move to AZ, where it's just us three and all we can do is living OUR lives, doing what WE want. There will come a time where it's all about us, but until then, we have to live life like it's just a movie, passing by.
I don't like the fact that you say that you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for us. That's not a good thing to say, or even to think about it. So please don't do that, okay? I'll always be here for you and you can always talk to me, no matter what. I'm certain that's the same with Kelly, but I'm sure she'll give you her opinion too soon. Try thinking positive. I know it's easier said than done, but it's the one thing to do without losing it.
I hope my words of "wisdom" helped somehow, and don't forget that I love you and always have an open ear or a shoulder to cry on.
Thank you for the words it help some...I do try to think positive but something or someone knocks it away I know it shouldn't but it does.. Thank you for being there for me and I will always have a shoulder for Kell and you forever and ever... You guys are suck (stuck) with me foe eternity... I love you guys more then words can say.. Thank You ...
Sad, yes I could tell you've been sad. I've been sad, mainly because I need a cigarette. But sadness comes when life isn't balanced. Our purpose in life is to balance everything. We balance ourselves by getting and receiving love. You give more then you get and that isn't fair. Then again no one said life was fair only that it's worth it. And it is Juju, life is truly worth it. Think about the future. The love, the fun, the babies and all the life that we will give and receive. How can life not be worth it. The hard part right now is remembering that everything you do and have done will come back to you, and because you've given nothing but love you should be ready to receive the butt-load of love that you deserve in return. Here's to us, to everything about us, to the special people we are and will be in the future. It's hard but always remember it's worth it. You control your everything. So take it and make it what you want it to be. I love and forever will, but you know that.
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